Saturday, December 11, 2010

Nice weather we are having, Dear!

Well, all week long we have been looking forward to the Christmas breakfast at church. It is so fun, and the food is so yummy, and to top it off Santa clause comes. Well, last night at 5:00 we got the call that the breakfast had been canceled-due to the weather. Bummer! Then, we looked outside, the skies were clear. Tom and I laughed. We couldn't believe they would cancel for snowy conditions 15 hours early, when there was no snow in sight. Ahh well, we decided we would enjoy sleeping in anyway. Then, I got on the internet to see what all the fuss was about. They were predicting a 14 inch dump, high winds, and freezing temperatures. So, Tom and I decided to wait and see. The weather man did not disappoint! We got 21 inches. Our temperature with the wind chill is negative 20, and the wind blew all day. Tom is a human snow plow. I mean the man can shovel! But, today when he went out to shovel all of the forces of nature were against him. He shoveled off the side walk, and 10 seconds later I saw that it was covered with about 3 inches (the wind was drifting it). Then, I looked back out the window, and it was clear again-more wind! On the 5:00 news we saw that they pulled all of the plows in our county off the roads until the conditions improve. We got an email from the news man at church, saying church is canceled! When I went out to help Tom with the shoveling, all I could think of was "Nice weather we are having, Dear!"
We giggle a little about how much people talk about the weather here, but this year Minnesota gave us all something to talk about! This is the worst weather year since 1991. I am proud to be a part of it. With the bad weather comes offers of meals, neighbors plowing other neighbors out, people offering to pick up groceries, and general care and concern among every one you meet. What a perfect way to put us all in the Christmas spirit!! Keep it coming Minnesota winter- give us all something to talk about and a reason to reach out to our neighbors.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mi Vida Loca!

Long time no see. I can't remember if I posted about this already, but #2 has a sensory processing disorder. We have been taking him to therapy, and the brushing technique that they showed us, has made a world of difference. Taking my tiger and turning him into a cuddly kitten. We do therapy twice a week. On therapy days, he runs down the stairs singing "I get to go to therapy!" Other things have improved. He gets dressed with out a struggle most days. Most days he dosn't yell as much. Most days he is more like the other boys. This is after one month of therapy. I am just so pleased! I haven't had a call from the teacher in weeks. Great job #2
#3 is in preschool. He is so happy to ride the bus, eat at school, and make friends. #4 and I go in 3 times a week to volunteer and help with the small group activities. There are 16 kids, and usually about 4 adults. It has been really nice for me to see where #3 falls in terms of behavior. He does great during play time and the small group activities. He does really well during the "good morning" large group circle time. But, he has a hard time during the "good bye" circle time. He seems to be getting better though.
#1 is loving school! Usually he does his homework without being reminded, because he has friends that come knocking at 4:00 sharp to play. The rule at our house, is you can't play until the work is done. So, jobs, reading, and homework all need to be finished. I love that his friends come over to play with him, it is such a great motivator!! All of the 2nd graders and up, here, get tested at the start, middle, and end of every year. They found out he was ahead in math and behind in reading. So, they put him in an intervention program- to catch him up. He just graduated. I learned alot from the program, too. I didn't realize that I should have him read books that were simple for him. I thought I should challenge him. They say, that they should be able to read all but 4 words in the book, otherwise it is to hard. So for a while Seth went back to the original books that he first read. But, now, just a month later he is into the box car children and loving it!
#2 is also in reading intervention. I think it has more to do with behavior than anything else, but I am sure he will get it sorted. Until then, I don't mind that he gets the extra one on one attention.
I just got asked to be the nursery leader. Four kids later I was surprised to find that I do not have a talent for teaching 14 1-3 year olds! Who knew?! I was shocked when I realized this. And very overwhelmed! This is the hardest job I have ever had, and I have so much to learn. I know the Lord wants me to make this the best experience for these kiddos. What a job!
We have all been sick for the last couple weeks. But, I think we are on the mend. Today I get to go to #3's class and help. After words, we take #2 to Therapy. When we get home from that, I am going to lunch with the Fast Wives. This evening we have a date with the plumber to pull something out of the toilet. Tomorrow I clean the house till it shines, because on Friday we have 4 teenage boys staying here for a church activity. Saturday is the leadership meeting, and Sunday the primary program. I am so grateful for the Sabbath! It is so wonderful to have a day of rest from mi vida loca!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Hoist with your own petard

I was hoisted up with my own petard :) Don't look to deeply into that phrase, I just wanted to say it.
My sweet friend and sister from the ward, who I thought was perfect, in rebuttal to the "I don't look so good on paper" post, sent me a link to an article she wrote. As I have received a few comments about that particular post, I thought I better post her article here.

Author: Tiffany Gee Lewis
What you don't see, when we all march into church on Sunday morning, is the chaos of the morning that happened just 10 minutes earlier.

What you don't see, when you look at my four little boys in their suits, is that the 7-year-old is wearing Dad's socks because we couldn't find his. And they go all the way up to his knees.

What you don't see, when I pull out the lovely quiet book I made a few years back, is that below it, in my church bag, are five baggies of smashed raisins because I haven't cleaned out the bag for months.

When you enter my house, with its shining entryway, you don't see the three loads of laundry dumped on my bed. Or the dirty pots I stashed in the oven. And you will never see the interior of my minivan, not until I find the time to vacuum it out.

When you admire the hand-sewn pajamas I made for all the kids, we don't talk about the three nights I got no sleep to make those.

If you look on my blog, you will see pictures of homemade chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles. You won't see my confession to popping in a frozen pizza THREE times last week for dinner.

Or the night we ate Cheerios for dinner, dry, because we were out of milk. There is a zoom on my camera for a reason. There is a delete button for a reason.

I don't think we're all playing a part. We naturally want to put our best selves forward, so that is what other people see. They don't see what's going on behind the scenes. I like to think that good parenting is like a duck on the water. What you see is the gentle, almost effortless gliding, not the furious paddling that happens underneath.

I keep a mental list of about ten people I want to stalk by camera, from morning to night, to see how they do it all. Are they up at 4 a.m.? Can they survive on three hours of sleep? Do they have a housekeeper? Because I drop balls just as fast as I can grab them. My intentions are of pure gold, but they come out as tinkling brass, at best.

I started a blog last fall. I dragged my feet into it for many reasons. One of the main reasons I hesitated was I didn't want to be another contributor to the cyberspace guiltosphere out there. Especially where mothers are concerned, do we need one more reason to feel guilty?

Because from the looks of things, other families are happier, their houses are cleaner, their marriages are better, their clothes are more stylish and their craftiness is even more crafty. Their lives are perfectly lovely, while my kids are running around screaming in their diapers.

My worst fears were confirmed last week when I got an e-mail from a friend who asked, "How do you do it all? Your column, your blog, all the things you do with your children? You're amazing!"

I looked around at my house, at the six bins of winter clothes waiting to be transported to the garage, at the sewing projects stacked against the wall, at the state of the toothpaste crusted to the sink ... I let things go, a lot of things.

A spanking-clean house is not a high priority for me. I'm a big believer in mud and its importance in a child's life. The time I take to write is time away from scrubbing that bathroom sink. I would rather read with my kids than shop at the mall, so I am certainly not up-to-date on the latest styles. I've been listening to the same music for 20 years because I can't seem to keep up with the latest music scene. And I require a lot of sleep.

We all have priorities. For some, it is keeping a spotless house, and they are good at it. For others, it is writing, or exercising, or serving others. And yes, there are some who seem to do it all, the Benjamin Franklins of the world. I tell myself I don't have to be them. And also, Benjamin Franklin was not much of a family man. Even he let things go.

What we don't see, when we look at each other on Sunday, or on blogs, or in our shiny kitchens, is that we all have different talents and unique situations. I tell my kids all the time: Life is not a race. The only person you are competing against is yourself.

What we forget to see, when admiring others, is our own personal finish li

Thanks for sharing this with me Tiffany. I always get caught up in comparing my worst to everyones best.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


#4 and I have been walking together every day. We go at his pace. He is one so, he has little legs. We go just over a mile. I love it! He points out little things that I don't notice when I push a stroller and hurry through the walk. Whenever I look up, I seem to notice old men driving by with big happy grins on their faces. They seem to say, "You got it, this is what life is all about, this is where happiness is, keep it simple momma, and keep smiling." He loves to crunch the leaves, listen to the birds, and look for baketbaw hoops. I am very much enjoying mommyhood during this season.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I don't look so good ... ...on paper or caterpillar in training

I know this is a strange post, but its on my mind.
Tom went home teaching on Sunday. When he got home he told me all about it.
Important to note *
This family that he home teaches- have for boys, just like us. Their boys are about the same age as ours. And they moved in to the ward, so I was hoping we would be fast friends, and we could swap stories about our crazy boys. I dearly love the family. I have taught each of the boys in primary, subbing. They are just endearing and tender heart-ed. Their mother is equally as endearing. She leads the music in primary. For the first time ever, I see my second oldest joining in the singing and trying with all of his might to get chosen. I just love this family. The only problem is they are perfect! She writes a column for a paper. She even makes her own cheese for heaven sakes. She is a writer and avid reader, carrying on conversations about authors and their works. She always has perfect hair, and the sweetest most angelic look on her face. Like she lives in Bliss. Get this, she has to get her oldest son to quite reading- she has to force him to go bike riding :)
**If you ever read this, Dear Sister, Please know I love you, I am just in awe of your well rounded perfection!!
OK sorry, got side tracked.

So, Tom told me that they asked about me. Of course, I was interested. I am self centered like that. He said that they wanted to know what I got my degree in. But, alas I did not get my degree. I am 8 credits away from a degree in sociology. Why haven't I got it? I chose not to. I guess I am a non-conformist. So, then he says, but she went to beauty school. Oh, they say, so does she have her license? No he says, she chose to be a motivational speaker instead. Oh, they say, so does she do that? No, he says, she chose to stay home with our boys. Later they discuss the applesauce that this sweet sister is canning. One of the jars breaks, and she jokes about her apple soup. Tom goes on to mention that we have apple trees, but we wasted garbage can after garbage can of apples last year, from our 2 trees. After hearing all this I decided that I sure didn't sound very good on paper! I am a college drop out who finished beauty school, didn't get my license, got offered a motivational speaking position where I could make big money, wear fancy clothes, and shower daily. But instead I chose to raise four boys, who run around at church, fight, yell, and more often than not, forget to brush their teeth. I also waste apples where other mommies pay money to pick them.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am happy with who I am, and what I have done with my life. I know I am not defined by a degree a license or how many jars of applesauce I can put up. I am defined by my Eternal lineage. I have a father in heaven who loves me. I am constantly trying to improve myself to be like him. So, even though I don't look that great on paper I know that that is not important to Heavenly Father. What is important to him, is that I believe the Savior, and what he teaches, and act in faith.

Recently I re-read Sister Beck's talk, that she gave in conference in the spring
This paragraph meant a lot to me
The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. Qualifying for the Lord’s Spirit begins with a desire for that Spirit and implies a certain degree of worthiness. Keeping the commandments, repenting, and renewing covenants made at baptism lead to the blessing of always having the Lord’s Spirit with us. Making and keeping temple covenants also adds spiritual strength and power to a woman’s life. Many answers to difficult questions are found by reading the scriptures because the scriptures are an aid to revelation. Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day. Daily prayer is also essential to having the Lord’s Spirit with us. Those who earnestly seek help through prayer and scripture study often have a paper and pencil nearby to write questions and record impressions and ideas.

Have you ever tried to reinvent yourself? For example you can identify about 10 things that you feel need improvement, so you say, starting Monday I will do all 10 of these things every day for the rest of my life, only to find that by Wednesday you have already forgotten to be perfect?
Here is the plan, this year I am going to start reinventing myself. This month I will "spend some time in the scriptures daily" keeping a paper and pen near by. Then next Month I will add something else- continuing to read, write, and pray. Month by month I will add little things, and by the end of the year I will hopefully be able to cross the little things that always show up on new years resolutions, off my list. Then I can add something really great to the new years resolution. Something like saving a life or building a woman's shelter.

So, as you probably noticed, I blog about my goals to add a bit of accountability to them and hopefully inspire some one along the way. I am going to send it over to my marathon training blog. So if you're interested in my 12 month makeover go visit there. Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Late Summer Winds

Late Summer Winds
Wind, You don't fool me
Disguised as a welcome relief from the blistering Sun
I know, Life slows as you blow
The Harvest comes
With frost on your tips you bring death
Like wrinkles, the leaves change
Like cancer, the leaves cover the ground
You bring death to this sea of green
Dimwits will remark on the beauty of Autumn
The loveliness and kindness that rest her wisend eyes
They see her royally sitting in her hospital bed
and pray for her to live
But, There is an order to things
A spring, a summer, a fall, a winter
You are blowing dangerously close to fall
Now she hangs ominously in the balance between life and death
so, don't blow wind
Keep your colors
your rays of shaky hands, age spots, and lost memories
Stay far from those I love
Too late
Why was she so brave?
Why couldn't summer have lasted a little longer?
Did I savor every moment?
You, wind, carrier of bad news
Carry these questions to the one
The one who keeps order
The one who made her brave
The one who took her away
How many times will you blow before I see her again?
Asking you not to blow is the same as halting the seasons
The miraculous miserable seasons of life
A birth in spring
A life lived in summer
A preparation in fall
A loathsome death in winter
As you carried her away you carried another
The One
The one who plead for life but accepted death to save us
The one who made her brave
An all knowing Father hid in the deepest corner above
Not far enough
Still not far enough away to keep from hearing
Hearing his Son cry, "Where are you father?"
As he died in agony
You The Father quaked the earth
You darkened the sun
You cried
I know you will understand as I grieve while the wind blows
It blows smells of fresh bread, homemade jam, garden harvests
It blows memories of her hugs, her working in the garden, the orchard, the kitchen, her
Oh Father who knows all, who loves all
Thank you for blessing me with her
Blow wind
Blow the memories
Advance the seasons
As He willingly died
I willingly live
This is my summer
Blow wind

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You always have a friend in the Lord.

Well I just got back from Girls Camp. The Theme this year was "Your not alone, You always have a friend in the Lord". All of these girls go to different schools. Can you imagine living in a place where there are more schools than Mormons :) There was 120 girls. We had a terrific time. We went canoeing, hiking, and swimming. We learned lashing, knot tying, and whittling. We shot arrows and rifles. We cooked with a reflector oven, vagabond ovens, bunson burners, gas stoves, open fires, dutch ovens, roasting sticks, and sandwich sticks. We did a ropes challenge course and viewed the observatory. We went to a butterfly tent, where we learned of 20 species of caterpillar/chrysalis/ butterfly. We slept in Cabins on bunks. There was running water for showering, and washing. We met with the mission president and his wife, the stake president, and had a wonderful testimony meeting. We sang every song in every book, and slept as little as possible. My total hours of sleep for the week was 15 :)

What did I learn? Our girls are amazing! The Youth Camp Leaders (age 16) did everything! From enforcing rules, to organizing the cooking, cleaning, singing, and hiking. By the end`of the week I was ready to write them a recommendation. These lovely ladies could work anywhere- they are prepared to go to college and take good care of them selves and there surroundings. I give much credit to their parents and the amazing Stake Girls Camp director who understands the power and importance of delegation.

Only the girls bore their testimonies, during the testimony meeting. We had about 60 girls get up and bare their testimonies. We asked them in the beginning to keep their testimonies strictly to principles and ordinances of the gospel and not a thank-timony, confessional, or travel log. For the most part they did really well. They talked about how they were the only Mormon in their schools. They shared stories of being teased or mocked for their beliefs, and how in their saddest and loneliest moments, they realized that they were never alone, because they always had a friend in the savior. They are so strong and beautiful! Heavenly Father is preparing them. They also talked about how they found friends among other Christians, muslims, and jews. Other teenagers who believed in the same moral guidlines and family values that they did. They talked about the power of prayer, scripture study, and quiet meditation on the Savior. They talked about how they look forward to girls camp, so they can get together with other girls who know and believe the same as them, so they can just let down and be themselves.
I love these girls!! I am so grateful for their strength and example to me. I am grateful for the spiritual boost I received. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the youth. I love being outdoors in the beauty of the Earth. It was a perfect week!!
The purpose of girls camp is as follows:
Camp is an outdoor experience for young women ages 12 to 18. It gives young women opportunities to:

* Draw closer to Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ
* Feel the influence of the Spirit.
* Serve others.
* Build friendships and unity
* Learn skills.
* Appreciate God's creations.
* Have fun!

Camp is essential to the Young Women program. Camp is significant in strengthening young women’s testimonies and is an experience to build upon all year. Camp is challenging but it is worth it.

I say we fulfilled our purpose!!
Thank you Heavenly Father for the experience.

Monday, June 28, 2010


Has any one ever pondered what is meant in the scriptures when they say "rumors of wars"? I would love to get your feedback!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Marathon Picture

So that was fun. I am glad I am done. They will be mailing me my medal.
This summer we will be focusing on our remodeling projects. I think I will take an Art class in the fall. That will be my next big adventure.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I finished! I am a marathoner!

I will post pictures later, but a 14 month long goal is finally done! I completed my marathon just 10 minutes after my goal time. I am so happy to be done!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Little sisters big challenge

Write a post about what you love most about being a mom. Because more people need to know that being a mom is a full time job that should be respected.

As the title says, this is my little sisters challenge. Isn't she great!

What do I love most about being a mom?
I love the Vases full of Dandelions
I love the peanut butter kisses all over my clean clothes
I love teaching my children skills that will last them a life time
I love hearing my babies sing
I love our family night traditions
I love cuddling under a blanket on my bed and reading to them
I love seeing them ready for church in the white shirts and ties
I love coming in to the kitchen to see Hyrum and Enoch unloading the dishwasher
I love to watch Gabriel clear his dishes-and anyone else who is done after every meal
I love hearing Gabriel and Hyrum talk after we put them to bed
I love hearing Seth read to Hyrum and Enoch (doing the voices just like I would)
I love when they use their imaginations to come up with creative costumes
I love how they comb their hair
I love when they say, "Mom I love you"
I love it when they say, "Mom, don't where that dress, wear your princess dress"
I love discovering life again through their eyes
I love teaching them to clean up their own messes
I love watching them scrub their own masterpieces off the wall
I love the thunderous stampeded I hear when Tom gets home from work
I love the tradition of waving good bye-this tradition has been carried down
I love throwing my hair back in a ponytail, with no makeup on- only to hear "Mommy you are beautiful! You are the most beautiful princess in the whole world."
I love looking for bugs
I love listening for animals
I love making mud puddles and splashing in them
I love that their favorite food is pb&j sandwiches, and if I make that, they thank me for the yummiest dinner ever!
I love the way they think
I love how they cuddle up for hugs, kisses, and comfort
I love when they remember habits I am trying to teach on their own
I love when I tell them to hop in bed and they say, "But we forgot scriptures!"
I love when they dig for buried treasure
I love that my dryer goes to the moon almost daily
I love that ropes and sticks can be turned in to any thing useful
I love that when I go to a grocery store I can not leave without hearing "Are those all your boys, or do you run a day care?" To which I always respond, "Yes they are all my boys and they sure are fun!"

I don't know if this list would cause some one to respect motherhood or not, but it sure makes me glad I am a mom- thanks for the challenge Sarah Lynn!

Happy Mothers Day Mom- Thank You!
Happy Mothers day to all you other mommies out there- have a wonderful one!

Monday, May 3, 2010

My journey with weight

I have reached the end of the 13 months I gave myself to get in better shape. I have not, however, hit the goal of the marathon. I am happy to report that marathon day is May 22nd. But, this is not the end or the beginning of my journey with weight.
Some of my earliest memories are when I was 4, and I was the happiest little girl ever, because I fit in to 6 slims. I normally wore regulars- and my brother normally wore slims, but I, one time in my life, fit in to slims! I remember being really proud that I had accomplished some feet! How funny that a four year old would think of such things, but I did. Those pants were so uncomfortable, but some how in my mind I was skinnier because they were slims. So I wore them often and quickly out grew them.
I remember hearing my Grandma say that I walked like a little football player. I also remember always comparing my stalky body to my brother, sisters, and cousins thin bodies. I think at this point it was mainly a body type thing, and I just happened to be the only stalky bodied child in my whole town! I see the same thing with Gabriel. His body is stalkier than Seth and Hyrums. His chest is more barelled. And he is not FAT!
As soon as I went to school I was paired with the big kid in my class. I knew at that point that I must be fat too. People would always tease us that we were in love- because we were both fat. Looking back, I realize I was not fat just stalky. But then I thought I must be huge!
Some where in about 2nd grade I remember starting to sneak food. I would eat sweetened condensed milk and frosting. Probably 3 or 4 times a year. I loved that sweet taste in my mouth! When I was 12 I got a job mowing my aunts lawn. She would pay me 5 dollars. I would walk to my grandmas house, and on the way stop at the store and buy m&ms and a Sobe. These were really the only things that I can remember eating more than regular meals provided. In Junior high and high school I struggled with weight. When I learned about eating disabilities ie. anorexia and bulimia I tried them both out- wishing I could look like the bag of bones( the starved girl in the bikini) they showed us to scare us away from these eating habits. However, I did not have the will power for either of these behaviors. So, I resigned myself to being fat. When I was a senior in high school I went to Boise to work in the capitol building. I lived with a family- and paid them $100 a month for rent and food. I never knew what food was ok for me to eat. So, I ended up eating a yogurt, a cheese stick, whatever food was at the page office, and dinner if the family had it. This made it very easy for me to loose weight with all of the running I had to do at the capitol building. For the first time ever I felt confident with my body. I even felt beautiful. My mom made me a beautiful prom dress, and I felt very pretty in it. So, even though I literally had to beg a guy to go to prom with me, and pay for everything for my senior prom, I still felt very happy and pretty.
Then just a year later I was engaged. Something I thought would never happen. My mom again made me a beautiful wedding dress and I looked like a princess. Even though I weighed 70 lbs more than Tom he told me daily how beautiful I was. He would tell me about my eyes, my hair, my lips, and my curves "blush". Eventually I really believed him. I knew no matter what I did or became I was beautiful. This led to 6 years of untaimed weight gain. Totalling 68 lb. Woo. exhausting. Honestly I realized I was gaining weight, but I still felt very beautiful. The only thing I didn't like was pictures of myself. I thought the camera caught a bad angle-honestly! Then I would ask Tom- Do I really look like this? and he would say your beautiful to me. So I thought I was. Last year after I had Enoch I went in for my 6 week check up, and the doctor told me my BMI showed I was morbidly obese. These words effected me. Hearing the word Morbid rocked me and I decided even though I was beautiful it couldn't hurt to get into better shape. This started a 13 month goal. I added up what it would take to train for a 5K a 10K a half marathon and a full marathon. That's how I came up with my 13 month mark. Amazingly enough I was able to stick with the goal right up through August of last year- and I had to take a 4 month brake due to Toms crazy work schedule. Then, January 1st I started scheming again. And now just 14 months later with a 4 month break I am about to hit my fitness goal. Training for the 5K was just as difficult for me as training for the marathon is now.
I have a completely different out look on food now. Food is fuel. If I eat junk I run like junk. If I eat 4 fruits, 4 vegetables, 2 cups of cooked wheat, and about 6 oz of meat, and a couple glasses of milk I run like a well oiled machine. My body feels happy and energetic. If I eat the same amount of calories in junk food. I feel like a couch potato. All I want to do is sleep and eat. This new outlook on food lets me eat a sweet snack here and there, but not for most of my diet! I don't crave it like I used to. I feel free from food just like I used to feel a slave to it. I still every once in a while recognize that I am over eating. But, now it is occasional. This will take much more discipline when I am not burning an extra 3400-3600 calories a week. But I will address that when I come to it.

When I got Married I weighed about 200 lbs. I got up to 268 at my heaviest. Now, 14 months later. I am down to 209. This feels strange! Some times I feel bone(ey). Like when I am laying on my side at night, I used to be able to snuggle in-with all that extra cushion- now I have to actually use extra cushion for that job :) I have not bought new clothes, just because I don't want to spend the money on it, so I am still wearing the same clothes. Which means a size 18.
On Saturday I went to the store with a $100 clothing budget and a goal to buy a dress for Tom and I's fancy vacation we are going to. I tried on the 16's which were to big, and then the 14's, but ended up being most comfortable in the 12. I can't believe I am in a 12. I can't shop at Lane Bryant any more. Nothing fits! When I look in the mirror I can not see a difference. To me I look the same. I feel differently in that I can run a bit faster and my arms don't rub on my sides when I run.
BMI says I will be in a normal weight range when I am at 175. I am just barely into the "overwieght category" on the heavy side. I am probably a little smaller than I was when I got married, because my wedding dress fit again at 220. So- I think my muscle may tone down a bit and I will loose a little bit then. Any way I guess the point of this post is to say I am no longer morbidly obese. I now have a chance at raising my kids. woot woot!
One of the promises in the word of wisdom is that we will be able to run and not be weary. I take Heavenly Father at his word. I know that as I do the things that allow my body to accomplish the plans he has for me- he will help me to accomplish them.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Top 100 Dreams

1 Run a marathon (check)
2 Go to Europe
3 Go to Nauvoo
4 All my children happy and healthy
5 Write a Book "funny mommy days"
6 Keep whole house spotless for a week
7 No children in diapers
8 Loose 39 lbs
9 Find someone
10 Paint a masterpiece
11 Relate to someone on an intelligent level
12 Masters
13 Doctorate degree
14 Save my way to a million
15 Teach #2 (done) and #3 to read proficiently
16 Pay off all debt in 5 years
17 Sit through Sacrament meeting happily (check)
18 pull off a successful Girls camp (check)
19 Travel to
great wall of china
20 pyramids of Egypt
21 go inside a real castle
22 help with Aides in Africa
23 teach hygiene in India
24 help orphans in China
25 learn more, to help with poverty in south
26 Memorize the declaration of Independence
27 Stop "baby momma syndrome"
28 serve a mission
29 or two
30 or three
31 temple mission
32 or two
33 or three
34 spoil my grand kids with cookie making and housecleaning
35 teach my kids to be financially savvy
36 Teach Russians to smile
37 be an advocate for mothers and families (check)
38 have all my children graduate with a bachelors without debt
39 learn to balance my time- so I can finish each day with a smile knowing that I did my best
40 go on a week long bike trip with my family
41 do a triathlon (check)
42 memorize 5 poems
43 read 2 c.s. lewis books
44 make my husband feel like the best man in the world
45 teach the boys how to provide for their families
46 teach my girls to proficiently mother, budget, feed, clean, and nurture their families
47 No empty seats
48 make a garden oasis in my backyard
49 learn to dry wall
50 learn to restore hard wood floors
51 decorate my home
52 keep my car clean (uh its clean right now, does that count?)
53 memorize all scripture mastery's
54 sew my next dress
55 teach early morning seminary
56 read the standard works and all past conference issues before I am 30
57 consistently wake up at 6 ( I changed my mind :) )
58 1 year supply
59 6 month emergency fund
60 weekly date with Honey
61 weekly FHE (check)
62 Nightly scripture study (and morning, check)
63 2 a day family prayers
64 consistently go to bed at 10
65 drive to Boston and see the historical sites along the way
66 go to canada
67 go to samoa
68 go to tonga
69 listen to the islanders sing as much as possible (check)
70 plant rasberry bushes (check)
71 never have a bad day
72 create a family history book that goes back 5 generations full of stories and pictures
73 watch my thoughts always! no gossiping even in my mind
74 buy a farm in Idaho
75 build a house for the kids to visit us in
76 go where he wants us to go
77 carve a figure out of wood
78 get a yearly family picture
79 make a cd with Tom
80 or two
81 or three
82 learn basic car maintenance- no more paying for oil changes! wahoo!
83 be content but not complacent
84 swim with a dolphin
85 make 1000 quilts to give away
86 help make our parents retirements happy
87 Retire with dignity
88 don't let anything from the garden go to waste this summer!
89 teach Hyrum to quite sucking his thumb
90 Teach Gabriel to quite screaming
91 recycle
92 Go to Brazil
93 speak fluent portugese
94 speak fluent spanish
95 play in a family band or sing in a family choir at a concert
96 make curtains for each room- or buy them- but get them up before we move
97 adopt a child -no age requirement
98 foster parent
99 eat a fresh mango
100 eat a chocolate fruit: Black Sapote

Friday, March 26, 2010


I posted earlier, I am girls camp director. But, I just realized some of what that might entail. You guys, if I have to start a fire and know for sure how to cook food with a crock-pot, I am going to need some practice. Don't tell any one ;) in my ward- because I am really excited but I have never been totally responsible for the out-doorsy stuff that happens at camp-I don't even know if I can set up a tent for myself!

By the way- do you guys remember paying for camp-my girls have to pay 125! Is that ridiculous or what?

Monday, March 22, 2010

I feel like Blogging!

Things I am learning will probably be the topic of the day.
Over achievment
Letting some things go
little by little
when life throws you for a loop
having faith in the midst of trials(Haiti)
Lessons learned from marathoning
I am a marathoner
What do you find when the snow melts
Talks at church (Young Men)

OK, so like I said I want to blog. I have been learning a little bit lately and I want to write about it. I recently went back and read a few of my earlier posts (2 years ago) I laughed at the things I had learned-and am still learning. Maybe I have a broader perspective-but in essence I am still learning the same lessons- like a ripple in the water.
I may be a ripple or two away from the starting off point- but I am still stuck in the endless circle of learning.

I have a job at church- basically I am the party planner for the womens group. We get together once a month to learn, eat, do charitable works, and maintain friendships. I am normally in charge of the food. The wonderful woman I work with normally carries the load as far as what we do on any given night. Last month we did a lesson on the story from the Bible, the 10 virgins. This month was a celebration- 150+ years since the Relief Society was started. So having said that, I have had an eye-opening experience. Last month I prepared 10 courses- that would have been eaten at a wedding feast at the time of Christ. I prepared duck, lamb, stuffed grape leaves, sardines, balled melons, salads, humus, pitas, etc. I served cheese cake and pomegranite juice. This time(Birthday party) I made a vegetable tray This tray was a lot of work!! Then we had cake, fruit trays, meat and cheese trays and drinks. As I was preparing this ridiculous, beautiful, creative, insightful vegetable tray I realized I may have a problem. Much to my own detriment, I may be an over achiever. So, today I spoke with a friend of mine. I talked to her about my feelings. She saw the tray and has known me for 2 years, so she agreed. She is a bit like me- just older-50. So I figured she may have a little bit of wisdom on the subject. I am a, "Yes, I can" kind of person. If some one can do it, I know I can. She is the same. We like to do our best in all we do. But some times the balance can be tricky. I didn't want to give up all creativity. I think I have figured out what to do. If I can ask myself-"Is this something that you really want to do?-Something you can honestly say Yes, I want to do this"-go ahead and do it. My sister-in-law also had a good idea. When I am asked to do something- write down my initial idea, and then think of 2 things harder and two things easier and then choose from a list of 5 things what I should do. Also, remember to ask my self it what I am doing will save souls-that should help to keep it in perspective.

Letting some things go-
So, I have recently been asked to visit a family that goes to our church. As I have gone to visit them I have started to realize what a sheltered and really wonderful life I grew up in. One day when discussing this particular family with our bishop, I asked him How it was possible to raise a family in such circumstances. He said simply- It's Not! This family is so far beyond your wildest dreams-that most of you can not comprehend what they live like. After coming home from their home, I am often grateful to still be alive. But, I also have gained a new perspective on my life. If their are dishes in my sink, if my children watch a movie, if I raise my voice occasionally, if we eat sugar, if I didn't iron the white shirts before church, if I have "let some things go" we are going to be OK. Because, where it really matters, Kissing and Hugging my children, keeping swearing, drugs, violence, out of my home, showing my husband love and respect, and him mutually showing me the same, having rules with consequences and follow through, reading from the scriptures, praying, and spending time together as a family at meal times and specific times during the week- these are all essentials- so it is ok to let some of the minor things go.
Little by Little
We learn from the scriptures that lessons are taught line upon line. As I was speaking to a friend of mine about one of my little guys, and some behavioral problems I was having with him, she mentioned several things that would help. Then she said- implement them one at a time-just ease in to it little by little. It is to hard to change all at once. So once again I am learning patience through learning line upon line.
Again with my little guy we have tried a few approaches to teach him right from wrong and how to calm himself down when situations get intense. One thing my Mom told me was that there is not a magic answer. What really matters is being consistent with the technique you choose. I have often compared having children to training a dog. You can take a dog outside to "do his business" 100 times before he will get the hint that that is where you want it. Children are the same! Saying the same thing over and over to a child starts to wear you down, but if you can keep that same picture of consistency in your brain eventually the child will get the idea.
When life throws you for a loop
So, I have mentioned it a little, but we have had some struggles with our boys- especially in public places ie. church, stores, parking lots
One of our little guys got kicked out of primary- he can only go if Tom or I go with him. my focus of study in college was Family Science. I tried to prepare for this, but as most of you may know by now-preparation for parenthood- is something you really do over your life time- not out of a text book. So, I kind of thought- I have got this in the bag- I am going to be the best mom ever. *Imagine* Little Mom- perfect hair, makeup, clean clothes, shoes, jewelry, apron, smiling children, all leaning over a large bowl of cookie dough helping to make pans of steaming hot cookies- to be delivered in a little red wagon to friendly neighbors all over town. Children politely giving hugs and words of encouragement to elderly while talking only loud enough to be heard then walking right by my side home- following all directions after only being told once. Yep, that is how I imagined it!
So, Now for the Loop :) It has not been like that for me. Yes we make cookies, no my clothes are not clean, no make up, nice hair, or jewelry, yep barefoot!
Kids are smiling as they stuff cookie dough into their mouths, later sword fighting with mixing spoons, this normally ends quickly with time outs and ice packs. By the time the cookies are baked we have enough left for one or two neighbors- and as you can guess the above scenario doesn't go quite as planned. Well anyway- so you can see idealism and realism are 2 different things. My little guy got kicked out of primary and the leader asked us to get some help for him. So, we are now going through evalutions and therapy. I can just say life through me for a loop. This was something I never planned for, and I am riding it through. I trust that Heavenly Father knew him before I did, and he knows what to do for him, better than I do. So when Life throws you a loop, ride it out and see where you end up.
Having faith in the midst of trials
A friend of mine went to Haiti as an interpreter. He worked mainly in the hospitals and tent cities. He saw a lot of death, but he also saw a lot of faith. He described one time when he had the job of telling a Father that his daughter had just passed away. After he told this father, the Father immediately prayed and thanked Heavenly Father for the time he had with his precious daughter, and thanking him for taking her home. Heavenly Father-please let me remember this kind of faith and trust when my time of loss comes.
Lessons learned from marathoning
I realized this week as I ran 12 miles, that a marathon is not like any other race I have ever run. Normally in a race, you would not stop in the middle to use the bathroom, stretch, eat, or drink. But these are all normal marathoning things to do. Just about every 6 miles, you should eat 100 calories- every 3 miles drink water, every 4 miles stretch. What can we learn about life from marathons? If you want to keep going you have to take care of yourself! Spiritually and physically.
I am a marathoner
In the book I am reading about marathoning it says to say- I am a marathoner. So if you ask me, I will say, Yes, I am a marathoner. As I run I say I am a marathoner along with my strides. What does this do for me? Marathoning is mental. So is life. I am a good Mom, I have lots of energy, I am happy, I am a strong, I am a good friend. Those are my important things. Try it- while your doing the dishes.
Have you ever tried 100% pure chocolate? The fragrance is delicious, it is just this beautiful velvety dark color. It is the new health craze- you can eat chocolate as long as it is 100% pure chocolate- you can eat 1 ounce after each work out. So, I bought some. I unwrapped it with mouthwatering anticipation. I took a little nibble. I am glad it was a little one! It was the most bitter appalling thing I have ever eaten. Imagine taking a big bite of cocoa powder. Yep, that is what it tasted like. It got me thinking, you know that is how sin is. If sin was stripped down to the awful wickedness it really was, you would never want to sin. But, when it is packaged nicely and sugar coated all of a sudden it seems quite enticing. Oh Satan is cunning. What has been sugar coated and nicely packaged for you?
What do you find when the snow melts
The snow has melted and revealed last years bags of leaves- forgotten. Last years tree branches abandoned in a fire pit pile. And...250 tulip bulbs lovingly planted in anticipation of the spring shooting their green heads out of the frozen ground. I love the law of the Harvest.
Talks at church (Young Men)
The last 2 weeks in church our deacons (12 and 13 year old boys) have amazed me. First, 2 weeks ago Freddy helped his mom(Spanish speaker) by interpreting her talk. He was so sweet and looked at her with such love. Can my boys please grow up to look at me like that? Second, Josh, this week, he spoke on Honoring mothers and fathers. Wow! this talk was so sweet. speaking of parents who laughed with kids. Never being idle, instilling a work ethic, tickling, and teasing. Can I just once again say-Please let my boys grow up to be like this!!
I love my congregation. What amazing families and love of the gospel I see. Thanks for letting me live in Minnesota right now!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Girls Camp Leader- WOOT WOOT

I am so stinkin' excited. I love the youth, and now I get to be a leader- and stink, sweat, work, play, and pray with five of the strongest teenage girls in the whole world!

Here are some of my brain storming ideas.
Go through camp manual- divide it into days. Also Divide the days up into sections.
Day (A) do the young women theme. So all day girls are working on different projects of the theme. Maybe some kind of rainbow treasure hunt through out the day. Rainbow theme (with Faith, Divine Nature, etc.)
Day (B) "Be Strong" (Youth theme) Possible hike day- with quotes-maybe ropes course, testimony building-blitz day- with camouflage theme
Day (C) Stake Camp theme-Don't know what it is, but I will next month.
Day (D) Bonding day-so maybe bandaid and super glue theme.hmmm. This will be a day when we focus on preparing these 5 girls to take on the other 100,000+ teens in the area, including drugs, violence, gangs, gay rights activists, teen preg issues in their 5 different high schools-by teaching them to stick together and stick to the Savior.
I can't wait!!

Please write in with ideas. I am so excited!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Enochs birth story

Yes 14 months later I realize I am behind.
To bad I missed writing this down earlier while the details were fresh. I will do my best.
On Sunday the 25th of January, I decided I could not face another day of inquiry. So, I did the unthinkable-yep I skipped. I stayed home with Hyrum and a made up fever :) Now I realize skipping church is no laughing matter, but I did. I stayed at home and sat in bed. Trying to meditate on ocean waves-why? I was desperately trying to induce labor. I also had a little notebook. With every contraction I wrote down the time. Pleasantly surprised and pleased, I started to see a pattern. 20 minute contractions, then 10 minutes apart etc. So finally Tom got home. He said every one asked about me. Go away I said, with a conch shell at my ear (joke). Finally by 6 I emerged from the bed room, giddy. We are going to have a baby soon, I say!
Well we started to call through our list looking for someone to watch the kids. We got to the last person on the list (10 people) they were all out of town or not answering the phone. We put the boys to bed and prayed for help. Soon after our home teacher called. He had noticed I wasn't it church and just wanted to make sure I was all right. "Well", I say "I am in labor". We are looking for a babysitter to watch the kids so I can go to the hospital. I was about to leave Tom and go by myself. As we hang up with him, one of the ladies we left a message with, called back. She could help, until 6 am. OK, please come over.
We ironed out the details, someone else would come watch the boys, when they took their son in for seminary.
At 10:00 pm we head for the hospital. I check in, and the women at the desk look at me to see if I am being serious. You do not look like your in pain, they say. Well, I am not really in pain, I am just having regular contractions. OK, well we will check you in then, but we will probably be sending you home. So, they check me in and tell me to go walk the stairs. I go walking with Tom. (Oh yah I had group b strep yadah yaddah) so I had to have 4 hours of an antibiotics IV, before I could have Enoch. So I get the IV and go walking. I made one round, around the hospital, when my water broke. How embarrassing! Well, I guess I was just slightly embarrassed. This had never happened to me before, so we went back to see what we should do. The Midwife said, oh that's great- now we know your really in labor. Go walk again. So, I started to go out of the room to go walk, and I knew I could not walk any more. I told Tom to get the nurse and midwife.
They came in and asked where my pain was. A 6 really high for me. Then I told them I felt like pushing. Go ahead and push they say- really? yep. So I did. They complemented me on my corny jokes and light sense of humor. They laughed and I laughed. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I told them, that it hurt. They said, yup. It does. But your strong. I told them I was sorry for letting out a little yelp at one point. They said I was calm. After about 45 minutes of pushing, joking,and I think maybe a little crying (Tom?), Enoch came out, the wrong way! silly guy. That is what took so long. Normally its 3 pushes and I am done. So at 1 AM roughly we had our 4th little guy. I do remember being in love with him, and feeling really good about the way I handled actual labor. The nurse and midwife had let me dictate exactly what I wanted. I felt confident in my body and alive with excitement to be a mom to this sweet little guy. I also felt this sort of mother bear instinct( not that I growled, just a natural feeling of protecting my little guy). The nurse could sense it and shewed all help away, saying they could do the tests later. They shewed the help a way so quickly that they gave him to me all wrapped up, without a diaper :) I held him and fed him, and cuddled him. I don't think he spent one second in that plastic box(except with his check ups from nurses and pediatricians). I was very happy. Because we didn't get the 4 hours of antibiotics, we had to stay 48 hours. I joke to Tom that my stays at the hospital are the only vacation I ever get :) Someone comes and feeds me, makes sure I am alive and changes my sheets. However, like most vacations, they get old after a while, and you are ready to be home.
Tom took the first week off, and stayed home with us. At the end of the first week my mom came out and stayed with us. We saw Mall of America, the Minnesota chamber orchestra, The children museum, and the worlds largest indoor shark tank(also at M of A), and a hot air balloon festival all while mom was here. The boys loved having mom here and I loved sleeping/showering in peace! Mom took the boys out to sled and play. We all had a blast. So there yah go Enochs baby story.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A womans purse

"They say you can learn a lot by looking at the contents of a woman's purse." quote Incredible's
Well today I was rummaging through my purse, and realized how comedic it really is.

What does my purse say about me?

You never know when you might want to just break down and play with a toy!
The camera is best hidden in my purse amongst the toys.
I am too cool for a diaper bag
Yep .26 cents-I am poor!

That about says it!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Good Things are Happening

I am having a good spurt in my life. The Sun is shining, the snow is melting, I am running, Seth is doing well in school, Gabe's behavior is improving, Hyrum and Enoch are getting along great. What more could I ask for? Well other than I lost 17 lbs, fit back in to my junior prom dress, and wedding dress, and almost got registered for a marathon that is going to be perfect for me.
Like I said good spurt.
Oh yeah- got my own debit card with my own name on it, that matches my own drivers license with my own name on it. And there is money in that account and I am saving 10% of that money. All our bills are paid for the month and we are making progress on the house. The boys are devouring the Box car children series. I am planning a trip to Idaho to see my friend get married and run a marathon while I am there. I think :)
Did I mention that drips were pouring off the roof tops today? Yeah very good spurt.

Thank You Heavenly Father
Gordon B. Hinkley says:
Some years ago I clipped from the Deseret News a column by Jenkin Lloyd Jones, who said, in part: "There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands . . . in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and beautiful wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed. . . . Life is like an old-time rail journey--delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

Thank You Heavenly Father for the occasional beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed, and thank you for the ride!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Arnel Ramos

I considered the best way to respond to your question, and since I do not know you, and you obviously already found my blog I will reply by giving you a post of your own. Lucky Guy!
I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints since I was 8 years old. But, I have been blessed to have parents who taught me about the Gospel of Jesus Christ for my entire life.

As I attended church yesterday I was blessed to hear a man we look to as a leader called by God. His name is Donald Hallstrom. His title in the church is Elder. His calling from God is to be part of the Presidency of the Seventy. Set up The same as you can read about with Moses in the Old Testament; Numbers 11:16-17 and Christs church in the New Testament; Luke 10:1. Both of these references are found in the Holy Bible. In the Doctrine and Covenants 107: 97 in a revelation given to the church through Joseph Smith it speaks a little more about the calling of a seventy.
"And these seventy are to be traveling ministers, unto the Gentiles first and also unto the Jews."
So after that lengthy introduction, I will tell you what he said. Of course I am paraphrasing, but the general idea of his talk was that you could be fully active in the "church" of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and not be active in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

So lets further analyze this.
What is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?
What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

My belief What is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? is, the organization of the Church. We have prophets, apostles, stake presidents, bishops, missionaries, relief society presidents(women's organization), primary presidents (children's organization), visiting teachers, home teachers, seminary (teenage scripture study), Mutual (middle of the week for teens. In all a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints could be at the church or involved in a church related activity any where from 5-10 hours or more each week. We would consider these people to be very active in the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.
But, if this activity in the church does not lead them to being a more Christ like person, what is it for?
So, What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ? and how can we be active in the Gospel of Jesus Christ? I think this is a personal question. I come closer to my Savior by carefully inspecting my own life. As I do I find things in my life that need maintenance and fine tuning- just as a piano does over the years. Maybe I need to lower my voice, speak a little kinder, think more of others, or think more of the Savior. I learn more of the gospel of Jesus Christ as I read of his life and teachings and apply those teachings in my own life.
This is the reason I am grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ. The Savior set up this avenue as a sort of university for gospel learning. We are blessed and our family is blessed, because we have leaders to look to during these trying times. We are blessed because we have the priesthood power used for healing, blessing and passing the sacrament and the ordinances of the gospel such as baptism, giving others the priesthood power, and sealing a family for eternity. We are blessed because we have teachers who are not paid, that take their own time to study the gospel and teach us. We are blessed because our children enjoy this same enrichment. Being baptised makes me a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, but it is also part of a covenant that I make with my savior
1. Come into the fold of God.
2. Take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ.
3. Bear one another’s burdens.
4. Mourn with those that mourn.
5. Comfort those that stand in need of comfort.
6. Stand as witnesses of God at all times.
7. Agree to serve God and keep his commandments.
This is something that you understand in basic terms as an 8 year old and come to know and love the wiser you become. This surely is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I love the Savior. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and I love to learn of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I hope this answers the questions that surely would have followed your initial question. Please feel free to ask more. I know he will be with you in your own search for happiness.
Your sister in the gospel of Christ

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Fabiola Beauvil holds her 4-day-old daughter, Klaira Eliska, at the LDS Central Ward chapel in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, on Tuesday. Beauvil went into labor during last week's quake.

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Sun will Rise

The Sun will rise

In this life we have rare glimpses of Heaven
the touch of a hand as we say good bye
An answer that seals Forever
A baby's first cry
the shadow of a baby that never cried
Each one a glimpse
The Heavenly Father that loves
The Son that gives all
Each brings a family closer
To one another and our Eternity

As I thought of what you might be going through
I wished that I could think of something to say
that would take your pain away
This poem flowed and as I cried I knew
What He would say
Don't take your eye off the Sky line
Keep Watching
The Sun will rise

When pain is too hard to bare
When all seems troubled
the light impossible to see
When families are far
Never forget
The Sun will rise

Life is lived
Death comes
just another season
Easy for the ones who leave us
Those left search for a reason
Tears fall, hearts feel empty
hard lump in your throat
In the darkness
One we know calls our name

Please don't cry, My dear one
I love you,
that's why I have come
I know what you're going through
Because I went through it too
I did it just for you
I bore your pain
I felt your grief
As I knelt and begged for relief
I did it because He asked me to
And I did it all for you
The Sun will rise

So during this middle hour
When morn's light seems so far
When all is dim and unclear
When pain and doubt seem to sear
Look to the sky
And hear my reply
Clear your eyes
The Sun will rise

I know for I am the Savior of All
I love you
I came, lived, died for you
I carry your burden
Through me it is light
Making your way through this dreary night
Never forget
I am the Son
I died
I rose again

Monday, January 4, 2010

The LONGEST 3 hours of the week!

I feel like there should be some sort of disclaimer at the beginning of this. But I have no excuses. Since January of last year I have not once sat through all of Sacrament meeting, Sunday School, or Relief Society-unless I was teaching. I go to church because I remember what it used to feel like when I went as a teenager-single adult and young newly wed-and early in motherhood. I would feel the spirit so strongly. I knew with every sentence spoken that Heavenly Father loved me. In drastic contrast I now spend all of Saturday desperately preparing so that my kids can learn to love it as I do. As soon as we pull the church shoes out to shine on Saturday Gabriel throws himself on the floor in fits and spasms. "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't wan't it to be Sunday I don't want to go to church. I think to myself-I don't want you to go either buddy! But, of course I do want him to go. So every Sunday morning the clothes are lined out on the couch ready to put on, we eat breakfast and begin dressing. "I hate that tie", "These shoes are dumb" "Thats not mine" etc. begin to be chorused. Some how we all finally get to church. Mostly on time- hardly ever do I get makeup on-everything else seems to take to long even though it has been carefully planned the night before. Then we open the doors to the van and Gabe and Hyrum take off for the church-at a dead run. No, they are not excited to be in church they are excited for the long open hall ways to run and run and run, till some one takes pity on us and pins them till we can catch up. This is almost always on lap number 3 sometimes 4. Then we go sit in the Chapel. Usually with 5-10 minutes before the meeting starts-which I cannot decide if this is a good thing or a bad. It gives us 5-10 of uplifting music and time to quit breathing hard after our morning run...but it turns a 70 minute meeting into 75 or 80. During Sacrament our pew is quite entertaining. Just this Sunday alone Hyrum screamed "Dad your squeezing me to hard" "1 minute is a really long time" "your breaking my bones". He also peek-a-boo-d with a girl 2 rows back and batted his eyelashes at a newly wed behind us-saying "Your Gorgeous" all through the meeting. Hyrum took a book from Gabe so Gabe kicked him in the head. Enoch threw several toys (the boys kept giving to him) several rows up. Seth lays across the entire bench. Most of the time we are laughing or crying at comedy ensuing. Oh yeah I forgot, when they pass the sacrament- Gabe looks for the fullest cup of water and Hyrum grabs handfuls of Bread. A few weeks ago we stood to sing the rest hymn and Gabe got mad that Tom stood so he threw his head back and conked Tom in the nose. He almost passed out, until he realized he was bleeding all over. He left all four boys with me and I knew I might just DIE! Neither of us leave the other alone during sacrament for very long. Though both of us would like to just crawl in a hole and stay there. You would think with this kind of ruckous "Well it is obvious to me that all these folks need is a little discipline and some good ground rules". I am here to tell you "Be my guest!" I will personally pay your round trip to fix this problem! Next comes primary. You would think-break right? Wrong! Ever since Gabe got switched from Nursery to Primary meaning (play time and snacks to singing time and class) we have all been paying for it. I am a librarian and Tom is Sunday School President, so we both have jobs to do right after Sacrament. Do we ever get to do them or do them right? NO! We take our kids to there classes, drop them off and then hurry to get as much done as possible before someone inevitably comes and gets us. Some times it is-"Hyrum ran outside and we cannot find him". Other times it is "Gabriel is throwing the chairs in primary across the room". Most of the time it is a little giggle outside the Library window and when I peak to see who it is, the chase begins again. Most of the time by Relief Society/Priesthood Meeting Tom and I are settled in and mostly sure that we won't be interrupted for the last meeting of the day. But, then someone has to go to the bathroom or some one ran away or Enoch has to eat or someone has a talk (don't mind this one, just saying...). So church gets out. The chase begins again- and again both Tom and I have Sunday callings that need to be worked on after church for about 15 minutes. So what do the kids do? Run!! Do we get our jobs done? No! I say the kids- but really it is just Hyrum and Gabriel. But it is hard to chase boys when your holding a baby. One time we decided not to chase them, and figured we'd see them again soon- come to find out they were playing in the parking lot in the snow "ice skating". So we chase and we time out and we scold and sometimes we spank and we hold them and we walk with them- I have even made them walk the mile and a quarter to church to wear them down. We have a reverence chair for them to sit in after church, we have family home evenings on reverence, we practice during scripture study and family scripture reading, we practice during the week and we practice during FHE, we bribe, we pull our hair out and in the end we find our selves saying "Thank goodness that is over for another week"

I love my kids and I love being a mom but it is HARD WORK!

And for you who wonder why I go to 3 hours of church
Copy and paste this into a browser