Over achievment
Letting some things go
little by little
consistency
when life throws you for a loop
having faith in the midst of trials(Haiti)
Lessons learned from marathoning
I am a marathoner
Chocolate
What do you find when the snow melts
Talks at church (Young Men)
OK, so like I said I want to blog. I have been learning a little bit lately and I want to write about it. I recently went back and read a few of my earlier posts (2 years ago) I laughed at the things I had learned-and am still learning. Maybe I have a broader perspective-but in essence I am still learning the same lessons- like a ripple in the water.
I may be a ripple or two away from the starting off point- but I am still stuck in the endless circle of learning.
Over-Achievement
I have a job at church- basically I am the party planner for the womens group. We get together once a month to learn, eat, do charitable works, and maintain friendships. I am normally in charge of the food. The wonderful woman I work with normally carries the load as far as what we do on any given night. Last month we did a lesson on the story from the Bible, the 10 virgins. This month was a celebration- 150+ years since the Relief Society was started. So having said that, I have had an eye-opening experience. Last month I prepared 10 courses- that would have been eaten at a wedding feast at the time of Christ. I prepared duck, lamb, stuffed grape leaves, sardines, balled melons, salads, humus, pitas, etc. I served cheese cake and pomegranite juice. This time(Birthday party) I made a vegetable tray This tray was a lot of work!! Then we had cake, fruit trays, meat and cheese trays and drinks. As I was preparing this ridiculous, beautiful, creative, insightful vegetable tray I realized I may have a problem. Much to my own detriment, I may be an over achiever. So, today I spoke with a friend of mine. I talked to her about my feelings. She saw the tray and has known me for 2 years, so she agreed. She is a bit like me- just older-50. So I figured she may have a little bit of wisdom on the subject. I am a, "Yes, I can" kind of person. If some one can do it, I know I can. She is the same. We like to do our best in all we do. But some times the balance can be tricky. I didn't want to give up all creativity. I think I have figured out what to do. If I can ask myself-"Is this something that you really want to do?-Something you can honestly say Yes, I want to do this"-go ahead and do it. My sister-in-law also had a good idea. When I am asked to do something- write down my initial idea, and then think of 2 things harder and two things easier and then choose from a list of 5 things what I should do. Also, remember to ask my self it what I am doing will save souls-that should help to keep it in perspective.
Letting some things go-
So, I have recently been asked to visit a family that goes to our church. As I have gone to visit them I have started to realize what a sheltered and really wonderful life I grew up in. One day when discussing this particular family with our bishop, I asked him How it was possible to raise a family in such circumstances. He said simply- It's Not! This family is so far beyond your wildest dreams-that most of you can not comprehend what they live like. After coming home from their home, I am often grateful to still be alive. But, I also have gained a new perspective on my life. If their are dishes in my sink, if my children watch a movie, if I raise my voice occasionally, if we eat sugar, if I didn't iron the white shirts before church, if I have "let some things go" we are going to be OK. Because, where it really matters, Kissing and Hugging my children, keeping swearing, drugs, violence, out of my home, showing my husband love and respect, and him mutually showing me the same, having rules with consequences and follow through, reading from the scriptures, praying, and spending time together as a family at meal times and specific times during the week- these are all essentials- so it is ok to let some of the minor things go.
Little by Little
We learn from the scriptures that lessons are taught line upon line. As I was speaking to a friend of mine about one of my little guys, and some behavioral problems I was having with him, she mentioned several things that would help. Then she said- implement them one at a time-just ease in to it little by little. It is to hard to change all at once. So once again I am learning patience through learning line upon line.
Consistency
Again with my little guy we have tried a few approaches to teach him right from wrong and how to calm himself down when situations get intense. One thing my Mom told me was that there is not a magic answer. What really matters is being consistent with the technique you choose. I have often compared having children to training a dog. You can take a dog outside to "do his business" 100 times before he will get the hint that that is where you want it. Children are the same! Saying the same thing over and over to a child starts to wear you down, but if you can keep that same picture of consistency in your brain eventually the child will get the idea.
When life throws you for a loop
So, I have mentioned it a little, but we have had some struggles with our boys- especially in public places ie. church, stores, parking lots
One of our little guys got kicked out of primary- he can only go if Tom or I go with him. my focus of study in college was Family Science. I tried to prepare for this, but as most of you may know by now-preparation for parenthood- is something you really do over your life time- not out of a text book. So, I kind of thought- I have got this in the bag- I am going to be the best mom ever.
*Imagine* Little Mom- perfect hair, makeup, clean clothes, shoes, jewelry, apron, smiling children, all leaning over a large bowl of cookie dough helping to make pans of steaming hot cookies- to be delivered in a little red wagon to friendly neighbors all over town. Children politely giving hugs and words of encouragement to elderly while talking only loud enough to be heard then walking right by my side home- following all directions after only being told once. Yep, that is how I imagined it! So, Now for the Loop :) It has not been like that for me. Yes we make cookies, no my clothes are not clean, no make up, nice hair, or jewelry, yep barefoot!
Kids are smiling as they stuff cookie dough into their mouths, later sword fighting with mixing spoons, this normally ends quickly with time outs and ice packs. By the time the cookies are baked we have enough left for one or two neighbors- and as you can guess the above scenario doesn't go quite as planned. Well anyway- so you can see idealism and realism are 2 different things. My little guy got kicked out of primary and the leader asked us to get some help for him. So, we are now going through evalutions and therapy. I can just say life through me for a loop. This was something I never planned for, and I am riding it through. I trust that Heavenly Father knew him before I did, and he knows what to do for him, better than I do. So when Life throws you a loop, ride it out and see where you end up.
Having faith in the midst of trials
A friend of mine went to Haiti as an interpreter. He worked mainly in the hospitals and tent cities. He saw a lot of death, but he also saw a lot of faith. He described one time when he had the job of telling a Father that his daughter had just passed away. After he told this father, the Father immediately prayed and thanked Heavenly Father for the time he had with his precious daughter, and thanking him for taking her home. Heavenly Father-please let me remember this kind of faith and trust when my time of loss comes.
Lessons learned from marathoning
I realized this week as I ran 12 miles, that a marathon is not like any other race I have ever run. Normally in a race, you would not stop in the middle to use the bathroom, stretch, eat, or drink. But these are all normal marathoning things to do. Just about every 6 miles, you should eat 100 calories- every 3 miles drink water, every 4 miles stretch. What can we learn about life from marathons? If you want to keep going you have to take care of yourself! Spiritually and physically.
I am a marathoner
In the book I am reading about marathoning it says to say- I am a marathoner. So if you ask me, I will say, Yes, I am a marathoner. As I run I say I am a marathoner along with my strides. What does this do for me? Marathoning is mental. So is life. I am a good Mom, I have lots of energy, I am happy, I am a strong, I am a good friend. Those are my important things. Try it- while your doing the dishes.
Chocolate
Have you ever tried 100% pure chocolate? The fragrance is delicious, it is just this beautiful velvety dark color. It is the new health craze- you can eat chocolate as long as it is 100% pure chocolate- you can eat 1 ounce after each work out. So, I bought some. I unwrapped it with mouthwatering anticipation. I took a little nibble. I am glad it was a little one! It was the most bitter appalling thing I have ever eaten. Imagine taking a big bite of cocoa powder. Yep, that is what it tasted like. It got me thinking, you know that is how sin is. If sin was stripped down to the awful wickedness it really was, you would never want to sin. But, when it is packaged nicely and sugar coated all of a sudden it seems quite enticing. Oh Satan is cunning. What has been sugar coated and nicely packaged for you?
What do you find when the snow melts
The snow has melted and revealed last years bags of leaves- forgotten. Last years tree branches abandoned in a fire pit pile. And...250 tulip bulbs lovingly planted in anticipation of the spring shooting their green heads out of the frozen ground. I love the law of the Harvest.
Talks at church (Young Men)
The last 2 weeks in church our deacons (12 and 13 year old boys) have amazed me. First, 2 weeks ago Freddy helped his mom(Spanish speaker) by interpreting her talk. He was so sweet and looked at her with such love. Can my boys please grow up to look at me like that? Second, Josh, this week, he spoke on Honoring mothers and fathers. Wow! this talk was so sweet. speaking of parents who laughed with kids. Never being idle, instilling a work ethic, tickling, and teasing. Can I just once again say-Please let my boys grow up to be like this!!
I love my congregation. What amazing families and love of the gospel I see. Thanks for letting me live in Minnesota right now!!
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