The Lady who used to own our house still lives close and drops by every once in a while. She caught me home for the first time last week. She also caught me in the middle of life. We had morning dishes in the sink, lunch dishes on the table. Clothes and toys strewn on the floor. And laundry in the hall waiting to be carried to the basement. Outside the Lawn had not been mowed in 2 weeks and the garden had yet to be weeded-at all. Hyrum was running around in a diaper, Gabe was in his underwear, and Seth was in a bad mood. I had spit up on my shirt and pants- hair up in a sweaty pony tail and no makeup.
In contrast...This woman had 10 kids. She was house cleaner by proffesion and all the neighbors talk about how she would scrub the garage floor every 3 days. She had a garden full of flowers that she kept, so she could take a vase to anyone in need. She scrubbed the rafters in the basement every night and she said she was always right behind her kids if there was ever a mess. She brought toys, cookies, and a vase of flowers for me. She also had a dog bone in the car for our neighbor across the street and a banana bread for my next door neighbor. Granted this women is 80 with no children at home, but she wasn't always. So, is there something I am missing. How do I keep up? How do I keep the house clean and be the Mom I want to be? That day that she came we had gotten up early, I had gone for my run, when I got home we read scriptures, then we all rushed through breakfast and went to the zoo. When we got home from the Zoo, the boys were exhausted and I was exshausted. I was giving them some scrambled eggs for lunch and clearing the table of breakfast. We have no airconditioning so the boys were stripping to try and cool off. After I made their lunch I sat down to blog my run. That is when she showed up. I felt so embarassed at the condition I had let "her" house get in. I just can't figure out how she did it. Maybe I spend to much time blogging? This week several times I have thought about calling a lady in our ward and asking if I could come and observe her. I just am not sure how to become that super mom I am sure our Mother in Heaven is. Any Ideas?
7 comments:
I have no answers. . . but this lady sounds too good to be true! For me I think it is a matter of prioritizing. If I spend all day cleaning then when do I spend time with my kids? Good Luck, let me know if you come across any actual answers!
erica-
i wish i had words of wisdom and ideas to help. growing up both my parents worked and our house was never 'perfect' i remember being in bed at night and listening to my mom clean before she went to bed or she would be up before us kids and would clean. one day you will find that balance and as your kids get older you will have more helping hands and will be able to get through it all. you certainly have your hands full with all them boys, but things will come to you! enjoy the time when the boys are young and little, it goes way to fast as you know.
We always compare our worst selves to someone elses best. The important thing you've done is prioritze whats most important. One day we'll all find the time to do the things we want to... But really, who wants to scrub the garage floor? You're doing great!
Sometimes my mom comes over unannounced and has a tsk, tsk attitude about how my house looks. But she has forgotten. I remember our house being messy when we were little.
I have only two rules for myself and guests.
If I know you are coming over, the house will be clean.
If you show up without warning, you get what you get.
Don't stress. If the house is clean enough that it is not a distraction to regular life and the kids are happy you are doing a good job.
Please, please, please let me know when you get the "magic answer". Today I called Jacob at work and let him know that if he wanted to keep his kids alive, he's better get home soon...so...I guess that means I'm not one to give ideas:) I love the book about Sister Hinckley titled "Glimpses". She talks about the most important thing being 'save the relationship'- aka make sure your children know you love them and how important they are to you, period. Doesn't matter if swimming lessons happen, the family picture gets taken, the house is clean. Everyone is blessed with different gifts and challenges so don't compare. You are a wonderful mother and example.
I used to stress so much about keeping our home clean since some of my friends had IMPECABLE homes. I was stressed and angry whenever the children played and made a mess. I was a horrible mom. I later found out my best friends were bipolar and OCD, so they were fanatic about cleaning. That's just not me. The 'AHA' moment was in a book called "It takes a mother to raise a village". Our home is like a greenhouse. It's not there to impress the neighbors, it's there for a purpose. We can't grow seedlings without dirt. You can't grow happy children without messes, it's a part of growing up. Besides, only dull women have immaculate houses. I'd rather paint or read.
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