Mi Vida Loca!

Long time no see. I can't remember if I posted about this already, but #2 has a sensory processing disorder. We have been taking him to therapy, and the brushing technique that they showed us, has made a world of difference. Taking my tiger and turning him into a cuddly kitten. We do therapy twice a week. On therapy days, he runs down the stairs singing "I get to go to therapy!" Other things have improved. He gets dressed with out a struggle most days. Most days he dosn't yell as much. Most days he is more like the other boys. This is after one month of therapy. I am just so pleased! I haven't had a call from the teacher in weeks. Great job #2
#3 is in preschool. He is so happy to ride the bus, eat at school, and make friends. #4 and I go in 3 times a week to volunteer and help with the small group activities. There are 16 kids, and usually about 4 adults. It has been really nice for me to see where #3 falls in terms of behavior. He does great during play time and the small group activities. He does really well during the "good morning" large group circle time. But, he has a hard time during the "good bye" circle time. He seems to be getting better though.
#1 is loving school! Usually he does his homework without being reminded, because he has friends that come knocking at 4:00 sharp to play. The rule at our house, is you can't play until the work is done. So, jobs, reading, and homework all need to be finished. I love that his friends come over to play with him, it is such a great motivator!! All of the 2nd graders and up, here, get tested at the start, middle, and end of every year. They found out he was ahead in math and behind in reading. So, they put him in an intervention program- to catch him up. He just graduated. I learned alot from the program, too. I didn't realize that I should have him read books that were simple for him. I thought I should challenge him. They say, that they should be able to read all but 4 words in the book, otherwise it is to hard. So for a while Seth went back to the original books that he first read. But, now, just a month later he is into the box car children and loving it!
#2 is also in reading intervention. I think it has more to do with behavior than anything else, but I am sure he will get it sorted. Until then, I don't mind that he gets the extra one on one attention.
I just got asked to be the nursery leader. Four kids later I was surprised to find that I do not have a talent for teaching 14 1-3 year olds! Who knew?! I was shocked when I realized this. And very overwhelmed! This is the hardest job I have ever had, and I have so much to learn. I know the Lord wants me to make this the best experience for these kiddos. What a job!
We have all been sick for the last couple weeks. But, I think we are on the mend. Today I get to go to #3's class and help. After words, we take #2 to Therapy. When we get home from that, I am going to lunch with the Fast Wives. This evening we have a date with the plumber to pull something out of the toilet. Tomorrow I clean the house till it shines, because on Friday we have 4 teenage boys staying here for a church activity. Saturday is the leadership meeting, and Sunday the primary program. I am so grateful for the Sabbath! It is so wonderful to have a day of rest from mi vida loca!

Hoist with your own petard

I was hoisted up with my own petard :) Don't look to deeply into that phrase, I just wanted to say it.
My sweet friend and sister from the ward, who I thought was perfect, in rebuttal to the "I don't look so good on paper" post, sent me a link to an article she wrote. As I have received a few comments about that particular post, I thought I better post her article here.


Author: Tiffany Gee Lewis
What you don't see, when we all march into church on Sunday morning, is the chaos of the morning that happened just 10 minutes earlier.

What you don't see, when you look at my four little boys in their suits, is that the 7-year-old is wearing Dad's socks because we couldn't find his. And they go all the way up to his knees.

What you don't see, when I pull out the lovely quiet book I made a few years back, is that below it, in my church bag, are five baggies of smashed raisins because I haven't cleaned out the bag for months.

When you enter my house, with its shining entryway, you don't see the three loads of laundry dumped on my bed. Or the dirty pots I stashed in the oven. And you will never see the interior of my minivan, not until I find the time to vacuum it out.

When you admire the hand-sewn pajamas I made for all the kids, we don't talk about the three nights I got no sleep to make those.

If you look on my blog, you will see pictures of homemade chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles. You won't see my confession to popping in a frozen pizza THREE times last week for dinner.

Or the night we ate Cheerios for dinner, dry, because we were out of milk. There is a zoom on my camera for a reason. There is a delete button for a reason.

I don't think we're all playing a part. We naturally want to put our best selves forward, so that is what other people see. They don't see what's going on behind the scenes. I like to think that good parenting is like a duck on the water. What you see is the gentle, almost effortless gliding, not the furious paddling that happens underneath.

I keep a mental list of about ten people I want to stalk by camera, from morning to night, to see how they do it all. Are they up at 4 a.m.? Can they survive on three hours of sleep? Do they have a housekeeper? Because I drop balls just as fast as I can grab them. My intentions are of pure gold, but they come out as tinkling brass, at best.

I started a blog last fall. I dragged my feet into it for many reasons. One of the main reasons I hesitated was I didn't want to be another contributor to the cyberspace guiltosphere out there. Especially where mothers are concerned, do we need one more reason to feel guilty?

Because from the looks of things, other families are happier, their houses are cleaner, their marriages are better, their clothes are more stylish and their craftiness is even more crafty. Their lives are perfectly lovely, while my kids are running around screaming in their diapers.

My worst fears were confirmed last week when I got an e-mail from a friend who asked, "How do you do it all? Your column, your blog, all the things you do with your children? You're amazing!"

I looked around at my house, at the six bins of winter clothes waiting to be transported to the garage, at the sewing projects stacked against the wall, at the state of the toothpaste crusted to the sink ... I let things go, a lot of things.

A spanking-clean house is not a high priority for me. I'm a big believer in mud and its importance in a child's life. The time I take to write is time away from scrubbing that bathroom sink. I would rather read with my kids than shop at the mall, so I am certainly not up-to-date on the latest styles. I've been listening to the same music for 20 years because I can't seem to keep up with the latest music scene. And I require a lot of sleep.

We all have priorities. For some, it is keeping a spotless house, and they are good at it. For others, it is writing, or exercising, or serving others. And yes, there are some who seem to do it all, the Benjamin Franklins of the world. I tell myself I don't have to be them. And also, Benjamin Franklin was not much of a family man. Even he let things go.

What we don't see, when we look at each other on Sunday, or on blogs, or in our shiny kitchens, is that we all have different talents and unique situations. I tell my kids all the time: Life is not a race. The only person you are competing against is yourself.

What we forget to see, when admiring others, is our own personal finish line.

Thanks for sharing this with me Tiffany. I always get caught up in comparing my worst to everyones best.

simplicity

#4 and I have been walking together every day. We go at his pace. He is one so, he has little legs. We go just over a mile. I love it! He points out little things that I don't notice when I push a stroller and hurry through the walk. Whenever I look up, I seem to notice old men driving by with big happy grins on their faces. They seem to say, "You got it, this is what life is all about, this is where happiness is, keep it simple momma, and keep smiling." He loves to crunch the leaves, listen to the birds, and look for baketbaw hoops. I am very much enjoying mommyhood during this season.

I don't look so good ... ...on paper or caterpillar in training

I know this is a strange post, but its on my mind.
Tom went home teaching on Sunday. When he got home he told me all about it.
Important to note *
This family that he home teaches- have for boys, just like us. Their boys are about the same age as ours. And they moved in to the ward, so I was hoping we would be fast friends, and we could swap stories about our crazy boys. I dearly love the family. I have taught each of the boys in primary, subbing. They are just endearing and tender heart-ed. Their mother is equally as endearing. She leads the music in primary. For the first time ever, I see my second oldest joining in the singing and trying with all of his might to get chosen. I just love this family. The only problem is they are perfect! She writes a column for a paper. She even makes her own cheese for heaven sakes. She is a writer and avid reader, carrying on conversations about authors and their works. She always has perfect hair, and the sweetest most angelic look on her face. Like she lives in Bliss. Get this, she has to get her oldest son to quite reading- she has to force him to go bike riding :)
**If you ever read this, Dear Sister, Please know I love you, I am just in awe of your well rounded perfection!!
OK sorry, got side tracked.

So, Tom told me that they asked about me. Of course, I was interested. I am self centered like that. He said that they wanted to know what I got my degree in. But, alas I did not get my degree. I am 8 credits away from a degree in sociology. Why haven't I got it? I chose not to. I guess I am a non-conformist. So, then he says, but she went to beauty school. Oh, they say, so does she have her license? No he says, she chose to be a motivational speaker instead. Oh, they say, so does she do that? No, he says, she chose to stay home with our boys. Later they discuss the applesauce that this sweet sister is canning. One of the jars breaks, and she jokes about her apple soup. Tom goes on to mention that we have apple trees, but we wasted garbage can after garbage can of apples last year, from our 2 trees. After hearing all this I decided that I sure didn't sound very good on paper! I am a college drop out who finished beauty school, didn't get my license, got offered a motivational speaking position where I could make big money, wear fancy clothes, and shower daily. But instead I chose to raise four boys, who run around at church, fight, yell, and more often than not, forget to brush their teeth. I also waste apples where other mommies pay money to pick them.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am happy with who I am, and what I have done with my life. I know I am not defined by a degree a license or how many jars of applesauce I can put up. I am defined by my Eternal lineage. I have a father in heaven who loves me. I am constantly trying to improve myself to be like him. So, even though I don't look that great on paper I know that that is not important to Heavenly Father. What is important to him, is that I believe the Savior, and what he teaches, and act in faith.

Recently I re-read Sister Beck's talk, that she gave in conference in the spring http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=869dde009da38210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
This paragraph meant a lot to me
The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. Qualifying for the Lord’s Spirit begins with a desire for that Spirit and implies a certain degree of worthiness. Keeping the commandments, repenting, and renewing covenants made at baptism lead to the blessing of always having the Lord’s Spirit with us. Making and keeping temple covenants also adds spiritual strength and power to a woman’s life. Many answers to difficult questions are found by reading the scriptures because the scriptures are an aid to revelation. Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day. Daily prayer is also essential to having the Lord’s Spirit with us. Those who earnestly seek help through prayer and scripture study often have a paper and pencil nearby to write questions and record impressions and ideas.

Have you ever tried to reinvent yourself? For example you can identify about 10 things that you feel need improvement, so you say, starting Monday I will do all 10 of these things every day for the rest of my life, only to find that by Wednesday you have already forgotten to be perfect?
Here is the plan, this year I am going to start reinventing myself. This month I will "spend some time in the scriptures daily" keeping a paper and pen near by. Then next Month I will add something else- continuing to read, write, and pray. Month by month I will add little things, and by the end of the year I will hopefully be able to cross the little things that always show up on new years resolutions, off my list. Then I can add something really great to the new years resolution. Something like saving a life or building a woman's shelter.

So, as you probably noticed, I blog about my goals to add a bit of accountability to them and hopefully inspire some one along the way. I am going to send it over to my marathon training blog. So if you're interested in my 12 month makeover go visit there. Thanks for reading!

Late Summer Winds

Late Summer Winds
Wind, You don't fool me
Disguised as a welcome relief from the blistering Sun
I know, Life slows as you blow
The Harvest comes
With frost on your tips you bring death
Like wrinkles, the leaves change
Like cancer, the leaves cover the ground
You bring death to this sea of green
Dimwits will remark on the beauty of Autumn
The loveliness and kindness that rest her wisend eyes
They see her royally sitting in her hospital bed
and pray for her to live
But, There is an order to things
A spring, a summer, a fall, a winter
You are blowing dangerously close to fall
Now she hangs ominously in the balance between life and death
so, don't blow wind
Keep your colors
your rays of shaky hands, age spots, and lost memories
Stay far from those I love
Too late
Why was she so brave?
Why couldn't summer have lasted a little longer?
Did I savor every moment?
You, wind, carrier of bad news
Blow
Carry these questions to the one
The one who keeps order
The one who made her brave
The one who took her away
How many times will you blow before I see her again?
Asking you not to blow is the same as halting the seasons
The miraculous miserable seasons of life
A birth in spring
A life lived in summer
A preparation in fall
A loathsome death in winter
As you carried her away you carried another
The One
The one who plead for life but accepted death to save us
The one who made her brave
An all knowing Father hid in the deepest corner above
Not far enough
Still not far enough away to keep from hearing
Hearing his Son cry, "Where are you father?"
As he died in agony
You The Father quaked the earth
You darkened the sun
You cried
I know you will understand as I grieve while the wind blows
It blows smells of fresh bread, homemade jam, garden harvests
It blows memories of her hugs, her working in the garden, the orchard, the kitchen, her
Oh Father who knows all, who loves all
Thank you for blessing me with her
Blow wind
Blow
Blow the memories
Advance the seasons
As He willingly died
I willingly live
This is my summer
so
Blow wind
Blow

You always have a friend in the Lord.

Well I just got back from Girls Camp. The Theme this year was "Your not alone, You always have a friend in the Lord". All of these girls go to different schools. Can you imagine living in a place where there are more schools than Mormons :) There was 120 girls. We had a terrific time. We went canoeing, hiking, and swimming. We learned lashing, knot tying, and whittling. We shot arrows and rifles. We cooked with a reflector oven, vagabond ovens, bunson burners, gas stoves, open fires, dutch ovens, roasting sticks, and sandwich sticks. We did a ropes challenge course and viewed the observatory. We went to a butterfly tent, where we learned of 20 species of caterpillar/chrysalis/ butterfly. We slept in Cabins on bunks. There was running water for showering, and washing. We met with the mission president and his wife, the stake president, and had a wonderful testimony meeting. We sang every song in every book, and slept as little as possible. My total hours of sleep for the week was 15 :)

What did I learn? Our girls are amazing! The Youth Camp Leaders (age 16) did everything! From enforcing rules, to organizing the cooking, cleaning, singing, and hiking. By the end`of the week I was ready to write them a recommendation. These lovely ladies could work anywhere- they are prepared to go to college and take good care of them selves and there surroundings. I give much credit to their parents and the amazing Stake Girls Camp director who understands the power and importance of delegation.

Only the girls bore their testimonies, during the testimony meeting. We had about 60 girls get up and bare their testimonies. We asked them in the beginning to keep their testimonies strictly to principles and ordinances of the gospel and not a thank-timony, confessional, or travel log. For the most part they did really well. They talked about how they were the only Mormon in their schools. They shared stories of being teased or mocked for their beliefs, and how in their saddest and loneliest moments, they realized that they were never alone, because they always had a friend in the savior. They are so strong and beautiful! Heavenly Father is preparing them. They also talked about how they found friends among other Christians, muslims, and jews. Other teenagers who believed in the same moral guidlines and family values that they did. They talked about the power of prayer, scripture study, and quiet meditation on the Savior. They talked about how they look forward to girls camp, so they can get together with other girls who know and believe the same as them, so they can just let down and be themselves.
I love these girls!! I am so grateful for their strength and example to me. I am grateful for the spiritual boost I received. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the youth. I love being outdoors in the beauty of the Earth. It was a perfect week!!
The purpose of girls camp is as follows:
Camp is an outdoor experience for young women ages 12 to 18. It gives young women opportunities to:

* Draw closer to Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ
* Feel the influence of the Spirit.
* Serve others.
* Build friendships and unity
* Learn skills.
* Appreciate God's creations.
* Have fun!

Camp is essential to the Young Women program. Camp is significant in strengthening young women’s testimonies and is an experience to build upon all year. Camp is challenging but it is worth it.

I say we fulfilled our purpose!!
Thank you Heavenly Father for the experience.

Pondering

Has any one ever pondered what is meant in the scriptures when they say "rumors of wars"? I would love to get your feedback!